A Sailor’s Hat

Starting college was really difficult for me.  As you might have read in A Curtain of Shyness, I am painfully shy and going away to college was going to provide ample challenges beyond learning and studying.  I was excited to go away to school.  I wasn’t going so far that my parents couldn’t be at school quickly, but far enough away that I would experience my first taste of freedom.

I started my college career at Eastern Illinois University, a small state school that had once been a teachers college.  Once I was accepted, I started receiving all types of information about class schedules, housing information and extra-curricular activities.  One of the brochures was about the Greek system at EIU.  The pictures of the sororities and fraternities entranced me.  They seemed like they were having such fun.  My brother had been in a fraternity at the University of Illinois and I always envied him all the parties and adventures he seemed to have.

There were only two other people attending EIU from my high school, but unfortunately for me they were guys.  None of my friends would be joining me.  Other than Cliff and Brice, I knew no one at school.  Was I going to make friends?  Was I destined to spend every night in the library alone?  How scary would it all be?  I spent hours pouring over the sorority brochure and decided that as scary as sorority rush would be…I was going to do it.

Sorority rush started the day I arrived at EIU.  For the next week I would put on my nicest clothes, trying for good hair and better makeup.  I went from house to house, meeting new people and making small talk.  As scared as I was, I kept pushing on.  I finally decided on a sorority that made me feel welcome and one that I knew could be my new home.  The day I received my bid from Sigma Sigma Sigma (SSS) I was so excited!  The dye was cast.

The day I pledged was surrealistic.  Before the pledging ceremony, all the pledges were gathered in a room in the basement.  Being shy, I kept to myself and just listened.  There were 19 of us all together.  Other girls were chatting like they had known each other forever.  Some had.  I remember one girl talking about the diamond ring her father had given her before she left for school.  At that moment, I felt so out of my league and had moments of terror alternating with major feelings of inferiority.  But I kept moving forward.

Pledging was fun and horrible at the same time.  In addition to schoolwork, I had sorority work.  We had to dress up everyday and wear our pledge pin.  On Fridays we had to wear jeans and our Greek letters.  Every day we had to carry our pledge book, a purple book with all of our pledging information.  We had to guard it with our life just in case someone decided to kidnap it and hold it for a ransom.  We had meetings and requirements to go to all functions with fraternities.  This wasn’t a problem so much as it took up a lot of time.  We had to meet with members of the sorority, which at times was a scheduling nightmare, and we had to have their personal information memorized.  Most of the girls were great…some, not so much.  We worked towards two things, activation…and a sailor’s hat.

Yes, a sailor hat.  When we had achieved some secret requirement, we were given a white sailor’s hat.  We glued our Greek letters on the front and divided each section between all the fraternities on campus.  We were required to wear the hat Monday thru Friday from morning until dinner.  When we were in class, we took our hats off and guarded them with our lives…just like our pledge books.  We had to get 15 signatures from every fraternity in a certain amount of time.  Very fun…but very stressful.  We were the only sorority on campus that wore sailor hats and boy did we stand out.

Through all the requirements and fun activities, the girls in my pledge class began to bond.  I never imagined that being forced together; working towards a common goal would bind 19 girls from different backgrounds into a cohesive working unit.  These girls became my best friends.  We did so many crazy and fun things together.  My memories of these years were some of the best of my life.  I lived in the sorority house my sophomore year.  I majored in sorority that year…my schoolwork was secondary to the house.  My grades definitely reflected this.  I became a little lost my sophomore year.  I had lost any vision of what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I learned that my parents feared I would do something to myself and it was finally decided that I should come home.  Coming home meant attend the University of Illinois.

I would miss my sorority sisters, but I knew this was the right decision.  Fortunately, there was a chapter of SSS at the U of I.  I plunged right back into the new house.  It gave me an anchor on a campus that was three times the size of EIU.  One of my pledge sisters had also transferred, so I wasn’t walking into a house full of strangers.  Immediately I was accepted and started making new friends.  Eventually two of my new sisters would stand up with me when I got married and held my hand when my first husband was killed.  They were back by my side when I remarried and welcomed my daughters home.

Through the years I have mourned the loss of my pledge sisters.  I have tried to reach out to all of them with some success.  A number of us are on Facebook and it has been fun to catch up.  The girls I knew in college have become remarkable women.  They represent an important part of my life.  I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them.  They accepted me in a time of loneliness, shared crazy times with me, and looked out for my best interest as I looked out for theirs.  They stood beside me in times of sorrow and happiness.  They challenged me to be the best person I could be.

Twenty-eight years after that fateful and frightful day of pledging, we remain connected by a sailor’s hat, signatures faded by time, but the meaning behind the purple letters remains bright and true.